Krazy Ivan
HIGH Bringing a sledgehammer to a gunfight… and winning.
LOW The single-player content is a technical disaster.
WTF What is it with all these bats everywhere? And what does Ivan have against shirts?
HIGH Bringing a sledgehammer to a gunfight… and winning.
LOW The single-player content is a technical disaster.
WTF What is it with all these bats everywhere? And what does Ivan have against shirts?
HIGH Pulling off the dual-sword finishing combo that turns your opponent into the second-best thing since sliced bread.
LOW Stupid, pointless fetch-quests.
WTF Big-boobed sidekick gets her own helicopter and a bazooka, while I get little throwing stars and arrows.
According to ESRB, this game contains: Blood, Violence, Sexual Themes, Partial Nudity
In the hierarchy of videogame fighting titles, Team Ninja's Dead or Alive series (DoA) has always languished somewhere near the middle of the pack. Known more for its jaw-dropping visuals, scantily-clad female combatants, and the phenomena of "breast physics" than its fighting engine, the games have always been looked down upon by fans of loftier fighting series like Virtua Fighter, Soul Calibur, and even Tekken. However, that hasn't stopped the franchise from developing a loyal following.
Ninja Gaiden has become some strange sort of initiation rite for self-proclaimed hardcore gamers. "You don't like it? You're simply not good at it!" seems to be the tagline. While that might be true in some cases, it's also a very annoying rhetorical trick to turn every criticism of the game into a proof of the reviewers assumed wimpness.
Of all the hideous monsters and hellspawn that haunt Tecmo's third-person action game Ninja Gaiden—mace-weilding zombies, giant fire-breathing worms, faceless samurai—nothing frightened me more than demon hunter Rachel's ridiculously oversized breasts. No kidding. When I first encountered them—they're seriously the size of small Third World countries—I let out a ninja-like cry—something like "Aiieeeee!"—then braced myself (left trigger! left trigger!) for their attack.
If the game were truly about volleyball, or even about forming relationships, then there would not be random screens of the girls walking up and down beaches or lying down in poses that make them appear, as a friend so aptly put it, "freshly raped."
Sex is something of an enigma for this country. Everyone wants it, everyone thinks about it, but almost nobody wants to deal with it in a meaningful and intelligent way. This is especially true for videogames and their delayed acceptance as culturally valid media.
I'll admit that I'm not much of a fan of fighting games on consoles. I usually spent my time playing the Street Fighters and Tekkens in arcades because I believe the experience of a fighting game is much more exciting when you're actually playing against a human opponent. Considering that most of the people I hang around don't really care for video games, it's been hard for me to ever have a good experience with a fighting game at home. I always end up convinced that the computer cheats and is out to get me (which aggravates me to no end).
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