A Fine Macrobrew
HIGH Exceptional production values with outstanding in-engine cinematics.
LOW It’s a franchise still defined by cheap deaths due to finicky controls.
WTF …Where’s my gotdang fart button!?!
Hold It In Contempt
HIGH Judgment is still a helluva videogame.
LOW This particular version of Judgment is a rip-off for those who already own it.
WTF At least they didn’t call it Judgment: Enhanced Edition.
Who Put All These Robots On My Farm!?
HIGH The possibility of getting transfixed for hours is definitely still here.
LOW The graphics and performance are well behind the Switch curve.
WTF The “You cannot change this later” notice when choosing the player’s gender.
Throwing The Bandaged Hamburger Baby Out With The Bathwater
HIGH This team can still make a game that controls with expert precision.
LOW Zero flair and zero soul to speak of.
WTF…did anybody at Team Meat ever write down what people liked about the first game?
Smokin’ Sexy Style
HIGH The deepest, most satisfying combat (maybe) in the history of the genre.
LOW It’s not exactly a showpiece for next-gen hardware.
WTF V needs some proper footwear.
Please Pursue Making Games Like This Again
HIGH Gettin’ dat Bugatti
LOW The soundtrack didn’t get any better with age
WTF Lamborghini cop cars = Defund The Police.
Aren’t There Better Things To Remaster, Kupo?
HIGH A bright, cheerful presentation that defined “chibi” Final Fantasy.
LOW Completely missing the only thing that made the original cool in the first place.
WTF The proper usage and inflection of the word “Kupo”
Right Robots, Wrong Mission
HIGH The concept is gold and the art style is fantastic.
LOW Finishing the game missing crewmembers and robots.
WTF Who thought all this grinding was a good idea?
HIGH It’s staggeringly beautiful.
LOW I never want to hear the word “honor” ever again.
WTF The absolute stockpile of headbands I’ve accumulated.