Let's start this week's review with a list, shall we?
Things I'd rather do than play King Arthur:
1. Jab myself in the eye with a dirty needle.
2. Wax Bea Arthur's "bikini area."
3. Go snorkeling in the sewer.
4. Punch myself repeatedly in the testicles.
5. Build a log cabin out of dog turds.
6. Roll through a briar patch naked, then take an alcohol shower.
7. Watch a 36-hour marathon of The View, followed by a Real World-esque experiment where I live with Star Jones for a year.
8. Listen to country music.
9. Model a pair of ass-less chaps for the general population of San Quentin.
10. Play Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis.