Nothing Miserable About This Pile Of Secrets

HIGH Castlevania III is the greatest NES game ever made. Fight me.
LOW Trying to get excited for sub-par Game Boy games on a 4KTV.
WTF Why did it take 25 years to re-release Castlevania: Bloodlines?
HIGH Castlevania III is the greatest NES game ever made. Fight me.
LOW Trying to get excited for sub-par Game Boy games on a 4KTV.
WTF Why did it take 25 years to re-release Castlevania: Bloodlines?
HIGH Infiltrating a heavily guarded enemy prison for the sole purpose of retrieving a copy of A-ha's 'Take on Me'.
LOW A lack of story motivation coupled with an overload of open-world repetition.
WTF Huey's role in the game.
HIGH The slow-mo reflex mechanic that kicked in to save my ass countless times.
LOW Hitting "Restart Checkpoint" because a guard saw me across the map.
WTF That time a guard shot me from one foot away … with a rocket launcher.
HIGH The idea of explaining what was happening while Dracula slept is great.
LOW Being stuck at the elevator puzzle for way too long.
WTF Why are the skeletons the toughest enemies in the game?
HIGH Grabbing one Marine by the throat and shooting his friend in the head while slo-mo rain pelts the scene.
LOW How long am I going to have to wait for the resolution to this cliffhanger?
WTF One of the side missions is longer and more intricate than the main game.
HIGH Taking out a horde of enemies flawlessly while moving like lightning.
LOW The stealth section in the garden needs some tweaking.
WTF This game's Metacritic score. What the hell is wrong with people?
Recent Comments