I will admit that the bit this article is going for started as a joke in the first half of 2020, but as the year went on, it became less of a joke and more of a legitimate argument.
Tag: Jarrod Johnston
Smokin’ Sexy Style
HIGH The deepest, most satisfying combat (maybe) in the history of the genre.
LOW It’s not exactly a showpiece for next-gen hardware.
WTF V needs some proper footwear.
Please Pursue Making Games Like This Again
HIGH Gettin’ dat Bugatti
LOW The soundtrack didn’t get any better with age
WTF Lamborghini cop cars = Defund The Police.
Assembled By The Board
HIGH It actually has value for offline players.
LOW Lengthy load times after every death.
WTF Writers need to stop writing snarky dialogue around the act of flipping switches.
Aren’t There Better Things To Remaster, Kupo?
HIGH A bright, cheerful presentation that defined “chibi” Final Fantasy.
LOW Completely missing the only thing that made the original cool in the first place.
WTF The proper usage and inflection of the word “Kupo”
I Need A Drink And A Hug
HIGH A peerless and inspiring new standard for accessibility options
LOW A seeming disinterest in moving the medium forward mechanically.
WTF: …Man did y’all have to release this right now?
Editor’s note: This review contains NO SPOILERS for The Last of Us 2, but does discuss the ending of The Last of Us in spoiler-level detail.
The Controls Are Telling
HIGH:A weird, eclectic yarn of a mystery
LOW Playing with a controller is simply inferior.
WTF: Someone tell the Need For Speed team that FMV is alive and well.
One-Sixth Of A Winged Angel
HIGH A standard-shattering audiovisual spectacle.
LOW They somehow made Barrett worse.
WTF The entire project, conceptually.
All The Force Puns Were Taken. It’s A Great Videogame.
HIGH Mike was right. Deflecting blaster shots is pretty dope.
LOW Failing that damn Padawan wallrunning test twenty times
WTF Dear EA, Please fire the dolt in marketing who spoiled the coolest reveal in a commercial.
In Pursuit Of Relevance
HIGH The Day/Night split is both interesting and well implemented.
LOW: The stories in this series continue to be insufferable…
WTF: …which would’ve been more bearable with a healthy dose of FMV, which ain’t here.