Spaghetti Sadness
HIGH Constantly being reminded of Hotline Miami, and those memories of happier times.
LOW Fighting the abysmal controls at every moment of play.
WTF Too much to list.
Tag: Jarrod Johnston
Ikaruga (Switch) Review
Bullet Heaven
HIGH Damn, that boss theme thumps so hard.
LOW Kinda wish the Switch had 4K support to take full advantage of my TV.
WTF There’s some pretty funny Engrish in here.
STAY Review
The Most Intense IM Chat Of My Life
HIGH Worrying about the mental well-being of a videogame character because I had to go to work.
LOW It’s maybe not the best choice for an extremely busy person.
WTF Death due to head being stuck in window.
This Is Not A Review: Football Manager Touch 2018
Welcome to This Is Not A Review. In these articles we discuss general impressions, ideas and thoughts on any given game, but as the title implies, it’s not a review. Instead, it’s an exercise in offering a quick recommendation (or dismissal) after spending enough time to grasp the ideas and gameplay of a thing without necessarily playing it from A to Z.
The subject of this installment: Football Manager Touch 2018, developed by Sports Interactive and published by Sega.
Project Nimbus: Code Mirai Review
Budget-Constrained Brilliance
HIGH Truly outstanding mech combat.
LOW Everything beside said mech combat.
WTF Look, I get the budget’s tight, but maybe spend more than $20 & a cup of coffee on the translation.
Burly Men At Sea Review
Scurvy Will Be Patched In Later
HIGH Beards
LOW None of the control schemes are particularly good
WTF Stop being so impulsive, Hasty Beard!
Ni No Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom Review
A Wholesome Tale Of World Domination
HIGH A constant barrage of good vibes and happiness.
LOW It seems like only 20% of the dialogue is voiced.
WTF The opening of the game and Roland’s backstory are a tad… out of place.
Bridge Constructor Portal Review
Insert ‘Still Alive’ Joke Here
HIGH An excellent introduction to an entire genre.
LOW YUP. WE GET IT. CAKES.
WTF I still can’t believe this is a thing.
Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney (3DS) Review
I Have Some Objections
HIGH The final case might be the highlight of the entire series.
LOW No love for Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth?
WTF Why can’t I speed up the text? This has been a problem for FIFTEEN YEARS.
Microsoft Reloads: A Look At The Xbox One X
In the two-horse race for console superiority, it’s clearly been Sony out in front this generation. The Xbox One launched with bad press, an ugly design, slim pickings when it came to console exclusives, and a clear disadvantage when it came to the quality of multiplatform releases, but Microsoft’s fortune may be changing…
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