No One Can Destroy The Metal
HIGH This game shreds so damn hard.
LOW Umm… Uhh… The story is kinda meh?
WTF: It’s a 2D side-scrolling indie action platformer that isn’t a Metroidvania?!?
Valfaris Review
Tag: Jarrod Johnston
Grandia HD Collection Review
Pure JRPG Comfort Food
HIGH Two bonafide JRPG classics presented the best they’ve ever been…
LOW …But still not presented in a manner fitting for games such as these.
WTF I’m so sick of HD “collections” that are incomplete.
Catherine: Full Body Review
Do Losers Dream Of Erotic Sheep?
HIGH The gameplay improvements make it oddly competitive.
LOW Vincent Brooks continues to be terrible.
WTF That butt monster thing that chases Vincent.
Contra Anniversary Collection Review
If It Bleeds, We Can Kill It
HIGH Getting a re-release of Hard Corps after 25 years is awesome.
LOW Saying the collection features ten games is a tad disingenuous.
WTF Probotector is a real thing? That’s astoundingly dumb and I love it so much.
F1 2019 Review
Rubbin’, Son, Is Racin’
HIGH The Formula 2 addition is both substantial and welcome
LOW The “Legends” DLC is a monumental disappointment
WTF A setting for tax evasion would make it more authentic
Trover Saves The Universe Review
Plumbus Not Included
HIGH One of the funniest games ever made for those into Justin Roiland’s style…
LOW …And a fairly mundane platformer for everyone else.
WTF There’s so much WTF here.
Observation Review
Daisy… Daaaaaiiissyyyyy
HIGH Exemplary production values and atmosphere.
LOW It’s a great 8hr game that could’ve been an extraordinary 6hr game.
WTF: Ok, this style of play has officially become its own genre now.
Team Sonic Racing Review
Everybody’s Super Sonic Racin’ To Mediocrity
HIGH That opening theme song, yo.
LOW Lacks the pizzazz and nostalgia that made the previous such a good time.
WTF Sega had one job: put Segata Sanshiro in the game. They failed.
Kingdom Hearts III Second Opinion
Successful Saga Surcease
HIGH Tom Hanks’ brother voices Woody.
LOW Maybe 20% of people who play will get the satisfaction that I did.
WTF Kingdom Hearts.
Castlevania Anniversary Collection Review
Nothing Miserable About This Pile Of Secrets
HIGH Castlevania III is the greatest NES game ever made. Fight me.
LOW Trying to get excited for sub-par Game Boy games on a 4KTV.
WTF Why did it take 25 years to re-release Castlevania: Bloodlines?
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