Lazy Taxi

HIGH Hey hey, it’s Crazy Taxi…
LOW …and yet, it’s somehow lesser.
WTF I really miss hearing The Offspring go “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.”
HIGH Glorious zombie carnage.
LOW One can only run over zombies so many times and not be bored.
WTF Why is all in-game dialogue unskippable?!
I know. I know. Project CARS 2 came out in September of last year. What little dust Slightly Mad’s racing sim sequel kicked up has settled, and the rest of the game-playing world has moved on to bigger and better things. Monster Hunter World or Shadow of the Colossus, anyone? But Project CARS 2 has haunted me.
HIGH A great sense of speed and lovely visuals.
LOW The braindead, cheating, rubber-banding opponent AI.
WTF They sure do like phoning up this dude who never, ever talks.
HIGH Nailing a succession of corners at high speed without sliding off the bike like a total klutz.
LOW Encountering several nasty glitches within the first hour of turning it on.
WTF A game centered around going extremely fast has such glacial loading times?
HIGH The sandstorms are absolutely jaw-dropping.
LOW The bosses need more variety.
WTF Who thought releasing this on the same day as MGS V was a good idea?
HIGH The minimalist aesthetic is consistently lovely.
LOW The cars could stand to feel a bit grippier.
WTF The ending feels sudden and anticlimactic.
HIGH I still know the Battletoads jetbike level by heart, 20-ish years later.
LOW Gunfright. The entire thing.
WTF Battletoads Arcade? There are a bunch of better Battletoads games out there, Rare.
HIGH The look and feel of the driving
LOW The lack of customization and personality
WTF Limited modes make this seem like a budget title
HIGH California One.
LOW Karting.
WTF Getting an off-track penalty for taking a mandatory pit stop.
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