Remembering that yesterday was S-Day (the day Calibites celebrate the release of a new Soul Calibur title), I headed down to the store to pick up a copy. While I'm not a full-on Calibite, I don't own action figures or costumes or anything like that, I'm enough of a Soul Calibur fan that I'm generally happy to see a new game in the series coming out.
I was especially excited about this Soul Calibur, though, since I'd heard that it was going to be featuring playable characters from Star Wars. Usually my policy of not reading previews or seeing ads serves me well, as I'm able to go into games with few preconceptions and engage them on their own terms.
Sadly, my habit has failed me this time around, since, had I read previews, I would have discovered that the game I was interested in playing, pictured here:
Was not the game that I had arrived to purchase. No, because I'm currently in a different city than my Playstation 3, the game I'd arrived to purchase looked more like this:
No, your eyes aren't deceiving you, that's Yoda, leaping into the air like a jackass, swinging a lightsaber. Oy.
Look, it's been a couple of years since George Lucas destroyed Star Wars, and I understand the natural human desire to go back and try to eke out the tiny portions of good left in that franchise. One of those little bits of good is the character of Darth Vader, who has such a great look and persona that it makes perfect sense to continue leveraging him for every bit of awesomness he offers.
By comparison, swordfighting Yoda was perhaps the stupidest single sequence from a movie that was little more than an abomination on the face of film history. It was a fairly large mistake to think that the audience wanted to see Yoda swordfight at all (he's a powerful enough Jedi that, like the Emperor, he's past the whole need to fight people with lightsabers – the Emporer's fight from Sith was nearly as stupid), but a far more ridiculous mistake was to render his fighting style as a blurry little green ball bouncing randomly around the screen.
So this explains my frustration at discovering that Darth Vader was an exclusive character featured only on the PS3, while we Xbox 360 users would be stuck with the hopping emerald monstrosity.
As a reward for my loyalty to Microsoft, I've been given the chance to be depressed. Thanks, MS – Soul Calibur 4 just went from a purchase to a rental.
Oh, and there's another bonus character, the main character from Force Unleashed. I can't imagine which I'm supposed to be more excited about – the worst idea for a fighting game character in recent memory, or a character from a game that hasn't come out yet, and that, therefore, no one can possibly have a positive emotional connection to.
Nothing relevant to this conversation, that's for sure! Because we're here to talk about (sorry, write and read about, respectively) GC_Danny, who's updating this profile for the first time in thirteen years!
So let's take a gander back at that time and see what's happened! In addition to writing hundreds of video game reviews, Dan produced a book that can be legally purchased by almost anyone! He also wrote two short films, two episodes of television, and two movies! Although, sadly, and through much fault of his own, the movies have yet to be released.
In addition to general game reviewing, he's also dabbled in more long-form work, writing some of the longest and most comprehensive game reviews of all time. Then there's his non-GameCritics blogging, where he's famous as the world's foremost expert on the TV show Criminal Minds, as well as the co-host of a weekly podcast - he's even working on a new videogame/critical experiment, which you can find out more about here!
If all that wasn't enough, just a few months ago he rebranded himself as 'The Hidden Object Guru', hoping to stake another claim of ultimate expertise, this time over a genre of casual games! Will he be successful? Only time will tell, but you're free to join the thrilling ride at his YouTube channel!