Author: Trent Fingland

Armored Core 3 Portable Review

Armored Core 3 Portable Screenshot

HIGH Melting scores of enemy Armored Cores with my trusty flamethrower.

LOW Being sliced apart by beam swords for relying too heavily on my trusty flamethrower.

WTF The game has more functions than the system has buttons!

Fat Princess Review

Empty calories

Fat Princess Art

HIGH Holding both princesses for the last few seconds while the entire enemy team is running wild in the castle.

LOW The sudden realization that almost every match plays out the same way.

WTF The sudden realization that almost every match plays out the same way.

Shatter Second Opinion

A summer blockbuster in more ways than one

Shatter Screenshot

HIGH It was a feast for the eyes and ears all the way to the end.

LOW When it's over, it's really over.

WTF The "storyline" piqued my curiosity more than it probably should have.

Bionic Commando Second Opinion

He's not angry, just misunderstood

Bionic Commando Screenshot

HIGH Hanging motionless for a split second a hundred feet in the air above a boss before crashing down on it bionic fist first.

LOW Fumbling ineptly with certain biomech enemies for a large amount of time before discovering their weakness.

WTF When replaying certain sections, the in-game chatter is sometimes replaced with more profane versions of the same sentence.

Drakengard 2 Second Opinion

This review is irrelevant… like this game!

Drakengard 2 Screenshot

HIGH The moment early in the game where the main character must turn on his allies is almost perfect.

LOW The rest of the game is just downhill from there.

WTF Super Saiyans? In MY Drakengard?!

Valkyria Chronicles Second Opinion

Cry havoc, and let fly the pigs of war

 Valkyria Chronicles Screenshot

HIGH Capturing the enemy flag with a single scout running and gunning within the first turn.

LOW Leaving my own base totally unguarded allowing a lone enemy Lancer to lumber over and capture it unhindered, 10 turns into a battle.

WTF We definitely needed a cutesy flying piglet in our reimagining of WWII, right guys?