I’ve been trying to assess how to actually gauge how ‘great’ a year is for videogaming considering that videogames are cool and every year there’s way too many great games to play, and I think I’ve come up with a pretty good barometer.
Author: Jarrod Johnston
HIGH SHENMUE III IS A REAL VIDEOGAME AND I PLAYED IT.
LOW Will be seen as as laughably dated to newcomers.
WTF The 19 different ways western voice actors say the name “Ryo”.
Choose The Form Of The Destructor
HIGH About a bajillion times better than the 2016 movie.
LOW Not the strongest remaster. It’s also incomplete.
WTF Dan Aykroyd’s actual thoughts on ghosts, and many other topics.
Strands Across America
HIGH The online sharing is one of the coolest things ever in a game.
LOW The storytelling is absolute junk.
WTF Hideo Kojima has all the subtlety of a custard pie to the face.
Farming, 22nd Century Style
HIGH: A perfect mix of Harvest Moon and Stardew Valley.
LOW: The first hour is an absolute chore.
WTF: How does Doraemon fit a door into his pockets?
No One Can Destroy The Metal
HIGH This game shreds so damn hard.
LOW Umm… Uhh… The story is kinda meh?
WTF: It’s a 2D side-scrolling indie action platformer that isn’t a Metroidvania?!?
Pure JRPG Comfort Food
HIGH Two bonafide JRPG classics presented the best they’ve ever been…
LOW …But still not presented in a manner fitting for games such as these.
WTF I’m so sick of HD “collections” that are incomplete.
Do Losers Dream Of Erotic Sheep?
HIGH The gameplay improvements make it oddly competitive.
LOW Vincent Brooks continues to be terrible.
WTF That butt monster thing that chases Vincent.
Not Enough Brie On The Wienerschnitzel
HIGH Slaughtering digital Nazis is still the catnip I need these days
LOW A surprising lack of pizzazz.
WTF Was making the twins meat-headed ‘bros’ a weird attempt at equality?
If It Bleeds, We Can Kill It
HIGH Getting a re-release of Hard Corps after 25 years is awesome.
LOW Saying the collection features ten games is a tad disingenuous.
WTF Probotector is a real thing? That’s astoundingly dumb and I love it so much.