Just when you thought all the lists were done, baybay! Yes, the internet content machine definitely loves it some listmaking, and here we have yet another opportunity to quench the thirsts of people who demand things be ranked numerically — kinda funny to think about it when you realize how much people hate review scores.
Author: Jarrod Johnston
In Pursuit Of Relevance
HIGH The Day/Night split is both interesting and well implemented.
LOW: The stories in this series continue to be insufferable…
WTF: …which would’ve been more bearable with a healthy dose of FMV, which ain’t here.
I’ve been trying to assess how to actually gauge how ‘great’ a year is for videogaming considering that videogames are cool and every year there’s way too many great games to play, and I think I’ve come up with a pretty good barometer.
HIGH SHENMUE III IS A REAL VIDEOGAME AND I PLAYED IT.
LOW Will be seen as as laughably dated to newcomers.
WTF The 19 different ways western voice actors say the name “Ryo”.
Choose The Form Of The Destructor
HIGH About a bajillion times better than the 2016 movie.
LOW Not the strongest remaster. It’s also incomplete.
WTF Dan Aykroyd’s actual thoughts on ghosts, and many other topics.
Strands Across America
HIGH The online sharing is one of the coolest things ever in a game.
LOW The storytelling is absolute junk.
WTF Hideo Kojima has all the subtlety of a custard pie to the face.
Farming, 22nd Century Style
HIGH: A perfect mix of Harvest Moon and Stardew Valley.
LOW: The first hour is an absolute chore.
WTF: How does Doraemon fit a door into his pockets?
No One Can Destroy The Metal
HIGH This game shreds so damn hard.
LOW Umm… Uhh… The story is kinda meh?
WTF: It’s a 2D side-scrolling indie action platformer that isn’t a Metroidvania?!?
Pure JRPG Comfort Food
HIGH Two bonafide JRPG classics presented the best they’ve ever been…
LOW …But still not presented in a manner fitting for games such as these.
WTF I’m so sick of HD “collections” that are incomplete.
Do Losers Dream Of Erotic Sheep?
HIGH The gameplay improvements make it oddly competitive.
LOW Vincent Brooks continues to be terrible.
WTF That butt monster thing that chases Vincent.