Author: Brad Bortone

Anomaly 1729 Review

Like finding your way out of a Portal-o-Potty

Anomaly 1729

HIGH It’s not hard to learn.

LOW It IS hard to stay interested.

WTF I haven’t seen this much blue since CNN projected the 2016 Presidential Election.


MXGP2 Review

MXGP2

HIGH A huge number of modes, both single-player and online.

LOW The Extreme difficulty caters only to die-hard motocross game fans… all two of them.

WTF Overly exaggerated animations kill any sense of realism.


One Piece: Burning Blood Review

OnePieceBB

HIGH Visuals are smoother than the dulcet tones of Peabo Bryson. (Look him up, young’uns…)

LOW The narrative is threadbare, which is odd for a popular anime series.

WTF The story and dialogue made me question my sobriety. Twice.


Far Cry Primal Review

Not much has changed in 12,000 years

Far Cry Primal Review Screenshot

HIGH It appeared to be uncharted territory for a first-person title…

LOW … until I realized it was sort of identical to any other Far Cry title.

WTF Monosyllabic grunts kill the rom-com subplot.

Darksiders 2: Deathinitive Edition Review

Warmed over

Darksiders 2: Deathinitive Edition Review Screenshot

HIGH If you've ever said "I wish Lara and Link would fight like Kratos and collect a lot of crap," your ship has come in.

LOW Death, as it turns out, is kind of a boring dude.

WTF Even in the Apocalypse, is falling through glitch-filled scenery acceptable?

Star Wars: Battlefront Review

Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?

Star Wars: Battlefront Review Screenshot

HIGH A graphical stunner full of eye candy and fan service.

LOW The lack of depth and small selection of environments.

WTF Apparently, the job requirements for Han Solo's voice actor were "Male. Preferably conscious."

FIFA 16 Review

The competition is heating up

FIFA 16 Review Screenshot

HIGH A solid card-based mode that doesn't feel out of place.

LOW EA may have gone to the rehash well one too many times.

WTF Again, a CARD TRADING MINIGAME THAT DOESN'T SUCK

NBA Live 16 Review

As good as a colonoscopy

NBA Live 16 Review Screenshot

HIGH It's light years ahead of NBA Live 15, in every way possible…

LOW … so is a colonoscopy.

WTF Based on the audio, it's not uncommon for everyone to leave the arena mid-game, including the announcers.