Author: Brad Bortone

Voodoo Vince Remastered Review

Cursed By Missed Opportunities

HIGH Humorous self-mutilation is fun. (Now there’s a sentence I’ve never written before.)

LOW Visuals from 2003. Innovation from 1903.

WTF Are there really this many bottomless pits in New Orleans?


Soda Drinker Pro Review

Gamers Will Need A Drink, Alright…

HIGH  Graphics that evoke warm memories of screensavers.

LOW   This “game” does nothing to advance the cause for independent Xbox game development.

WTF  Why didn’t the devs have more confidence in Vivian Clark?


This Is Not A Review: Astroneer

Welcome to This is Not a Review. In these articles we discuss general impressions, ideas and thoughts on any given game, but as the title implies, it’s not a review. Instead, it’s an exercise in offering a quick recommendation (or dismissal) after spending enough time to grasp the ideas and gameplay of a thing without necessarily playing it from A to Z.

The subject of this installment: Astroneer, developed and published by System Era Softworks, and available in early access on both PC and Xbox One.


Gas Guzzlers Extreme Review

Extremely… Generic, Shallow And Disappointing

HIGH Drive cars and blow things up in digital wastelands. What’s not to love?

LOW For gamers who long to play deathmatch and capture the flag solo, their dream game has arrived.

WTF The only thing “extreme” about this title are the loadtimes.


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Assassin’s Creed: The Ezio Collection Review

Nothing Is Good. Everything Is Permitted.

HIGH  These three titles represent the most memorable story development in the series.

LOW  These three titles represent the laziest upgrade package on modern consoles.

WTF  Assassin’s Creed II’s gameplay has aged as well as dollar-store parmesan.


Gears of War 4 Review

Blown Back To Life

gow4

HIGH The best, most enjoyable Gears since the series’ debut.

LOW The story might be too scaled back for its own good.

WTF I never thought Gears would sink deep into microtransactions. I was wrong.


Everspace Preview

everspace01

Rockfish Games, the developer of space-shooter Everspace, should thank No Man’s Sky in their credits. Why? By virtue of the work from Hello Games being a disaster from the moment it launched, Everspace not only garnered press coverage interested in similar space-themed games, but has also been deemed a better title before it’s even launched. Granted, their work is nowhere near completion, but even in its Peter Brady phase, Everspace is showing many signs of trumping its overhyped competition.