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Old 12-25-2011, 05:41 PM   #1
ZippyDSMlee
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Zippy's writing project.

I don't post alot but I try and lurk I am a semi creative wannabe so I thought I would share some of my stuff since I got a new chapter done on book project thing.

I am learning disabled so my grammar is all over the place, the good news the first chapter have had some editing done to it by one of the mods over at game politics so its bearable LOL.

Chap 2 I have self edited it but blech I could only find a few errors, might add more might not(not errors but content ^_~) I dunno, right now I am done with it so I put it up on my DA page.

Chapter 1 is here.

Chapter 2 is here.

Check out my DA page for crappy ship doodles of stuff in the upcoming stories.
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Old 12-28-2011, 11:38 AM   #2
Pedro
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Re: Zippy's writing project.

Ha ha, not bad Zippy! Not sure what 'learning disabled' means, but you sure have a great vocabulary.

It's pretty breathless (not a bad thing) and is an entertaining read. At the same time, it probably needs a bit more structure and focus to make it more accessible. It's quite fun though. Hopefully you're enjoying working on this project.

Quote:
if one listened between the pitter patter of the rain and the quite thunder in the distance you could hear the wrinkles forming on his brow
..this made me smile
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Old 12-28-2011, 11:48 AM   #3
ZippyDSMlee
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Re: Zippy's writing project.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pedro View Post
Ha ha, not bad Zippy! Not sure what 'learning disabled' means, but you sure have a great vocabulary.

It's pretty breathless (not a bad thing) and is an entertaining read. At the same time, it probably needs a bit more structure and focus to make it more accessible. It's quite fun though. Hopefully you're enjoying working on this project.



..this made me smile
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learning_disability

Thanks so much its always good to hear its not that bad, just needs professional help LOL.

THo chapter 1 is probably much better as it had a a couple years to gain some edits and content. I am always trying to keep some wordy humor about, the structure goes to grammar of which I am well aware of is off. I can always get a pro editor to boil it down and restructure it. I am more worried at this time just trying to write it it out and work on the over all structure and flow as a 2ndary concern.

I keep wanting to compare it to Pirates of the Carrbein in space minus the Pirates, but the first book really dose not bring in any sci fi elements its much more fantasy based, the next few books he's(the Emissary) in space.
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