Since you've worked so hard on editing (we all do it!), I thought I'd give you more comments than you usually see in the forums. I did my best to indicate where I would encourage modifications. I quoted your pieces, and tried to use italics for most insertions or changes. I hope you're able to follow along, it's not the best medium to communicate editing.
I hope you are finding this helpful for your writing overall. It seems like a pain, I'm sure, but every rewrite and bit of advice will help your review(s) here, and in the long run you'll find yourself a better writer in general.
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Originally Posted by Pungello1988
WTF- Those stone angels are harder than the final boss
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Alternatively, for those of us who don't know what a stone angel is:
Finding some run-of-the-mill ghosts that were harder than the final boss!
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Listen…do you smell something? Well I do and it’s sweet 1980’s nostalgia; ever since 1984 people all over the world have wanted to strap on a proton pack and bust ghosts with Peter, Ray, Egon, and Winston. Now twenty five years after the release of the first movie developer Terminal Reality and publisher Atari asked me (and the gaming world) to rewind the clock to 1991 and join the fearless foursome. As a fan of the franchise I have wanted a new Ghostbusters story ever since the cartoon series was cancelled. I finally got it, in Ghostbusters: The Video Game.
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Now I'd cut some stuff and continue with:
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The game acts as the third movie in the franchise and it attempts to tie together and wrap up the stories from the first two movies. I was hired as an experimental equipment technician, a guinea pig for Egon’s new inventions. The premise of the game is simple, fighting ghosts to advance the plot. The comedy aspect of Ghostbusters was always more important than the action and the game does a commendable job of keeping that comedic aspect.
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Maybe say something about how this was important to you (assuming it was). And keep that in mind when you tie up this review at the end.
Here is how I would work the next couple up paras, starting with "Ghostbusters is one of the funniest movies of all time..."
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If there was one thing that made the original movie(s) funny it was the playing of the mundane vs. the supernatural. Three guys lost their day jobs and decided to set up a paranormal elimination team. They see crazy supernatural phenomena every day but still act like “ghost janitors,” as if the spirit world is no big deal. The game does a good job of keeping the spirit of things (ha ha) by keeping the dialogue lighthearted even when the levels get slightly creepy. The equipment looks thrown together and has a very “homemade” feel to it, which shows the supernatural being warded off with a bunch of random junk plopped on a pack. The game features a lot more ghost hunting than the movies but it still tries to keep its comedic edge. Many situations in the game are silly (like the Stay Puft marshmallow man) and even when the game gets serious characters will make funny or witty dialogue to ease the tension. Cursed artifacts show up in the firestation and can be really funny, like the disco pants that follow you around and play music or the toaster that dances on the pool table.
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You're writing this as someone who knows the game and movies, but although many in the audience will know the movies, most won't have played the game, and in any case the movies are less important. The dialog and cursed artifacts bring up two points. I'm aware of these items because I've played the demo, but it's worth talking somewhere about how the non-player characters are constantly riffing off each other and enchancing the game with their dialog. Also, finding cursed artifacts is best talked about in the gameplay. Each of these items could be removed from the above para, and discussed elsewhere.
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While the game stays true to the movies it also has some great gameplay elements that [i]hooked me right away. Hunting down and scanning paranormal entities is the first part of the gameplay. The PKE meter acts as a hot and cold meter that tells the player when he gets close to a supernatural item or entity. Found ghosts can be scanned (similar to the Metroid Prime games), and the information is logged in Tobin’s Spirit Guide. This assist the gamer to find a ghost's strengths, weaknesses, and back story. add something here about a specific story that you enjoyed which enhanced the game; or where the ghost info helped you fight a difficult enemy.You can also use the PKE meter to find cursed artifacts; every scan of a ghost or collectible you find nets you money that you can use to upgrade your equipment.
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You have to lose the second person references. You'll note I rewrote the above para to remove most of the second person references, instead talking about "the gamer" and "he".
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The ghost catching mechanic has a distinctive “fishing” feel to it and even though this process of catching a ghost is totally fictional it still feels right. The action never gets boring because the ghosts will vary from ghosts that simply need to be blasted away to ghosts that need to be trapped.“Animator” ghosts will possess objects and fling them at you to keep you on your toes. You are given new equipment throughout the course of the game and each of these equipment types are like Ghostbusters equivalents of traditional shooter weapons, for example the shock blast is like a supernatural shotgun. This allows the game to keep traditional shooter elements in the game while still having a unique twist on them. The environments are fully destructible and it is a lot of fun blasting a room to bits. It actually adds to the humor to go into a room and then wreck it all in the name of catching a ghost that would never have done as much damage as you.
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Not bad. The fishing is a good metaphor, you might want to expand on that, if it's a large portion of the game. You could talk about what it's like to trap a ghost in the blaster, and maneuver it to a trap (as well as any difficulties with the action of doing so).
One thing worth mentioning, and this is based on my time with the demo, is that the Ghostbusters are supposed to be careful about how much damage they cause. This is a good way to reference the movie (I laughed when one of them said they did poorly the last time they were at the NY Library), and if important to the gameplay, it's fine to talk about.
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The game looks great and the CGI cut scenes are amazing, the in-game ones aren’t as good and can be pixilated but the detailed character models are still nice to look at. The game also has some bad lip synching and the framerate will slow up from time to time but these issues are never a hindrance to the fun of the game. The game’s sound is taken straight from the first movie and it features Elmer Bernstein’s awesome score and Ray Parker Jr’s “Ghostbusters.” The only issues I have with the sound are that the voice acting can be slightly low at times and the music doesn’t always fit what is going on in the game.
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We're not big on pointing out graphics here. I would Summarize this in a sentence, but keep the comments about the sound, which is good to know. Maybe mention if the character models are accurate to the actors?
Some editing of your last para:
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1980’s nostalgia has been a common theme for media outlets in the past few years and I'm happy to see some of these properties given homage and expanded upon, provided they are done right. I was happy to see this solid film franchise get a sequen in videogame form, and I think it was something about what it was a good game for you, and still faithful to movies. Ghostbusters: The Video Game handles the property well and touches on all of the things that made the movies so funny. Though it isn’t a perfect game technically (lip synching issues and pixilation of cut scenes for example) it is a satisfying game that is a lot of fun to play and that accomplishes what it set out to do; provide a new story in the Ghostbusters universe while staying true to the tone and spirit of the films.
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Recap on what you liked about the game in additon to humor (if anything). I like your last sentence.
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