| Notices |
Welcome to the GameCritics.com Forum. We recognize that new members are vital to any thriving community. So we deeply appreciate your visit. Before posting, please read our Code of Conduct. If you enjoy discussing video games and other topics with mature and intelligent gamers, we hope you'll check out our other forums and become a member. |
06-01-2011, 10:32 PM
|
#16
|
|
8-Bit Poster
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
Posts: 54
Rep Power: 3 
|
Re: Please Rate This Review: L.A. Noire
Quote:
Originally Posted by SparkyClarkson
This looks pretty good, but that paragraph about dramatic weight still needs some work. It ends up being redundant; if you like the second way you phrased it better, just use that. Also, the paragraph makes the main story sound oppressive rather than intense, which may not be what you're going for. Maybe don't say that you "desperately" wanted to get away from it.
There are still a few minor grammatical things you should check, too. For instance, the sentence "Perhaps I want this game to be too much like a Grand Theft Auto..." is a run-on and has a subject-verb agreement error.
Otherwise, I agree that it's pretty close.
|
Thanks for the advice, Sparky. I see what you mean about the dramatic weight paragraph, I'll work on making it more concise.
__________________
Top 5 Games:
5. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Genesis)
4. Resident Evil 4 (GC)
3. Radiata Stories (PS2)
2. Jak II (PS2)
1. Mass Effect (Xbox 360)
|
|
|
|
06-02-2011, 07:43 PM
|
#17
|
|
8-Bit Poster
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
Posts: 54
Rep Power: 3
|
I've made a fifth draft, addressing Sparky's criticisms. (Check OP)
Thanks for reading 
__________________
Top 5 Games:
5. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Genesis)
4. Resident Evil 4 (GC)
3. Radiata Stories (PS2)
2. Jak II (PS2)
1. Mass Effect (Xbox 360)
|
|
|
|
|
06-03-2011, 01:14 PM
|
#18
|
|
Lt. Cmdr. PopAndFresh
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 185
Rep Power: 5
|
Re: Please Rate This Review: L.A. Noire
Good work. Green light from me.
|
|
|
|
|
06-03-2011, 09:17 PM
|
#19
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Waltham
Posts: 46
Rep Power: 4
|
Re: Please Rate This Review: L.A. Noire
Green light.
|
|
|
|
|
06-03-2011, 09:58 PM
|
#20
|
|
8-Bit Poster
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
Posts: 54
Rep Power: 3
|
Re: Please Rate This Review: L.A. Noire
Thank you to everyone who provided feedback on this review, it was infinitely useful. I look forward to returning the favor next time one of you posts a review. Special thanks to Richard and Sparky for the green light.
__________________
Top 5 Games:
5. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Genesis)
4. Resident Evil 4 (GC)
3. Radiata Stories (PS2)
2. Jak II (PS2)
1. Mass Effect (Xbox 360)
|
|
|
|
|
06-03-2011, 11:08 PM
|
#21
|
|
Lt. Cmdr. PopAndFresh
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 185
Rep Power: 5
|
Re: Please Rate This Review: L.A. Noire
Nice work Decabo. DM me on Twitter with your real name and I'll let the powers that be know that this is ready.
|
|
|
|
|
06-04-2011, 01:23 PM
|
#22
|
|
Lt. Cmdr. PopAndFresh
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 185
Rep Power: 5
|
Re: Please Rate This Review: L.A. Noire
Got your DM. I've sent it off to the editors. They may have some more feedback for you, but if not it'll go into the queue.
|
|
|
|
|
06-04-2011, 04:42 PM
|
#23
|
|
8-Bit Poster
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
Posts: 54
Rep Power: 3
|
Re: Please Rate This Review: L.A. Noire
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Naik
Got your DM. I've sent it off to the editors. They may have some more feedback for you, but if not it'll go into the queue.
|
Okay, thanks.
__________________
Top 5 Games:
5. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Genesis)
4. Resident Evil 4 (GC)
3. Radiata Stories (PS2)
2. Jak II (PS2)
1. Mass Effect (Xbox 360)
|
|
|
|
|
06-05-2011, 10:39 AM
|
#24
|
|
Demons are defeated
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Seattle, Washington
Posts: 3,982
Rep Power: 19
|
Re: Please Rate This Review: L.A. Noire
Great work.Green light!
|
|
|
|
|
06-05-2011, 04:20 PM
|
#25
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,041
Rep Power: 7
|
Re: Please Rate This Review: L.A. Noire
Yay!  |
|
|
|
|
06-12-2011, 07:35 PM
|
#26
|
|
New Poster
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2
Rep Power: 0
|
Re: Please Rate This Review: L.A. Noire
I just found out about GameCritics, and I have to say this user submission thing is really cool. Very interesting review.
|
|
|
|
|
07-02-2011, 09:05 AM
|
#27
|
|
Site God
Join Date: May 2002
Location: NYC
Posts: 4,776
Rep Power: 21
|
Re: Please Rate This Review: L.A. Noire
|
|
|
|
| Thread Tools |
|
|
| Display Modes |
 Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
