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Old 12-31-2012, 12:46 PM   #2
RandomRob
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Arrow Re: Please rate this review: Steel Diver (3DS)

http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/steel-diver

this review is already published online on this blog, I'm assuming it's yours?

I only mention it because of the paragraph where you mention having written another essay about some game mechanics, which makes this article feel like a part of some series of articles you've already written, rather than being a fresh submission for review, so I would edit that out. And maybe trim a few paragraphs here and there where you repeat points to get the length a little shorter. Average review length should be around 1200-1500 words.

In general, the writing is good, but the tone kindof comes off as 'the game is ok, but it's the expectations of people playing it that sucks'.. there's nothing WRONG with that, except it ends up sounding less like a review and more a condemnation of game culture, and since people don't read reviews to be told they're what's wrong with games, you might want to try to highlight the more positive aspects of the game experience than the negative associations of the business and the public.

That's all I've got right now. I'll give you a hand if you want to edit. Cheers,

R.
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