good length, well-written. No criticism from, except that it's been covered by Sparky Clarkson-
http://www.gamecritics.com/sparky-cl...t-story-review
so yours would need to be a 2nd Opinion piece. That being said, your voice and viewpoint are uniquely different than Clarkson's.. so I don't think a major rewrite will be needed-
Going to recommend this for review by the Admins
Cheers! R.