Hello FZero, welcome to the forum.
I like your review a lot, it's succinct and gets most of the game concepts across. I actually can't tell if getting the concepts across is 100% successful, as I played and loved the game myself, but it seems fairly complete.
The only areas I would say could be tweaked a little are:
The opening and closing paragraphs are a little bit cheesy; I don't have a huge issue with them but they wouldn't be to my personal taste - I would take a slightly more objective view. You can dismiss this argument if you want - I'm not totally convinced of it myself!
You don't mention anywhere the game changes lets itself down - for example the very out-of-place (for me anyway) sequence where you're chasing around the school near the end - or any negative aspects really. Maybe there are no negative aspects?
Finally you mention the game being nothing but story a couple of times, but don't elaborate. Does the game suffer because of this?
Again, feel free to ignore all these points!
As an aside, not review-related, I enjoyed the banter between the characters. Sure, it was massively annoying at the start, but I think it fed into making the whole thing more realistic and made it all more powerful in the end. Life is like that, y'know, and it was quite refreshing to have Dr Neil being an annoying twat even in the most serious situations