View Single Post
Old 12-16-2008, 08:36 PM   #2
Jason Karney
Pixel King
 
Jason Karney's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: the land of confusion
Posts: 2,417
Rep Power: 17 Jason Karney is on a distinguished road
Re: Far Cry 2 - Please Rate this Review

Hi,

You're off to a running start on this review, and you obviously know what you think about the game. The biggest issue I have is that the writing is too conversational; the tone of the writing should be a bit more formal, especially if you're interested in having a review posted on our front page.

The biggest thing you could do to improve the review is to remove the second-person references, i.e. "you...". Write from the first person; talk about your experiences, your feelings, and your opinions of a game. Instead of talking about "you," you () can refer to "the gamer" or "the player."

You make an effort to end on a positive note. However, most of your review draws attention to the negative content in the game. Perhaps you could remind the reader of why the flaws didn't bring the game down too bad for you. And give them some time earlier in the review.

One question that I wondered is, what makes the cars realistic?

Finally, I like your comment about adoring South African accents.

--Jason
Jason Karney is offline   Reply With Quote