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Old 12-16-2008, 08:16 PM   #2
Jason Karney
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Re: Please Rate This Review: Legendary

Hey there,

I think you're off to a good start on this review. It has a sense of character to it, which I like. And I definitely feel the disappointment you experienced laying Legendary, so your message is clearly conveyed.

This is the core of a good review; it would benefit from some general editing, I think. There are a lot of lengthy or run-on sentences.

Those two paragraphs describing the opening and some of the initial plot twists could be handled in a few sentences; and I think the details should be omitted, so as not to spoil the opening for a new player.

You were really good about staying in first person, and talking about your experiences with the game. I only caught one second person reference -- "you now have to fight two! " -- which is generally something to avoid when writing reviews. Again, you did good on that one.

I would restructure the ending a bit, probably streamlining the last three paragraphs to talk about what I dislike and ending on a strong statement. The para about lost potential could probably be used in the opening of your review. Then at the end, revisit that and give your final thoughts on where the potential was wasted (as already described).

--Jason
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