View Single Post
Old 10-22-2008, 11:09 AM   #2
Jason Karney
Pixel King
 
Jason Karney's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: the land of confusion
Posts: 2,417
Rep Power: 17 Jason Karney is on a distinguished road
Re: Rock Band 2 Review - Please Rate This Review

Hey,

Thanks for sharing your review. I have a few comments, based on my opinion and relative to our site style.

You starting out saying that Rock Band "was a broken, incomplete game that was missing more than most people cared to think about." That's a pretty broad statement, I think it should mentioned specifically what was broken, so that this review can talk about how the broken features were fixed (or not) in RB2.

"for a mere $4.99, an excellent value." ==> That's a fairly subjective statement, I would qualify it as such, i.e. "which I think is an excellent value." Or leave out the dollar amount entirely.

"Our only real concern" ==> Generally best to write in first person; and singular, so "My only real concern."

This review has a lot of factual data, but other than your thoughts that tour mode is too long, I don't get a sense of how you personally found the game to be. Here, we try not to just "laundry list" the features, and I think this review does a lot of that.

In general, this would benefit from editing to trim it down and tighten the flow.

Keep on writin'!

--Jason
Jason Karney is offline   Reply With Quote