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Old 10-13-2008, 07:05 AM   #3
Jason Karney
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Re: No More Heroes -- Please rate this review

Hey,

Good start to a review. I agree with Brad in particular about the length. Pick the theme or items about the game that interested you most (or bothered you the most!) and focus on those. Doing so will tighten the writing a lot.

I noticed you use a lot of second person (all those "you's" at the beginning), and that's a habit you'll want to break. I used to do that here and there in my reviews as well; so I know where you're coming from. Same for the "we's."

I like that you mention the way the game does some things, and what you'd like to have seen also or instead. Such as incentive to explore for fun, or being attacked by lower-rung assassins.

--Jason
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