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Old 10-12-2008, 02:57 PM   #6
Chi Kong Lui
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Re: Star Wars: The force Unleashed-Please rate this review

Izzardius, the best thing about the review is that you've focused on what was good and bad about the game the game, which kept the the review relatively short and engaging. That's not easy to do so bravo to that.

If you'd like to see the review published, here's what I would like to see improved in another draft.

1. The High/Low/WTF points are meant to be more specific and detailed. Describe the single highest and lowest point in the game for you in more detail. Try to tell a story in a sentence or two.

2. You didn't include consumer advice for Deaf and Hard of hearing as part of standard format.

3. In the fourth paragraph, you say "a lot of credit was given to the story," but you weren't specific about who was giving the credit. In a rewrite, make sure you fact check all similar statements a little better.

4. Drop the final sentence and write a conclusion that is reflective of your own thoughts and experience. Do not assign value to the reader.

5. Piggybacking the point above, its prefered to avoid writing in the second person because you aren't addressing the reader in a review. Its more like a converstation with yourself.

Overall though this is nice work and I hope you stick with it.

Chi
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