Teen (13+)

So Tasty He Doesn't Need Gravy

HIGH The hidden warp zone nods to past eras of gaming.

LOW The incredibly stiff difficulty will put off some players.

WTF Beware—anyone who can 100% this game may not actually be human.

Game Description: Super Meat Boy is a tough-as-nails platformer where you play as an animated cube of meat who's trying to save his girlfriend (who happens to be made of bandages) from an evil fetus wearing a tux who lives in a jar. Leap from walls, jump over seas of buzz saws, and run through crumbling caves and pools of old needles. Super Meat Boy relives the old school difficulty of classic retro platformers and streamlines it down to the essentials, no BS, just straight-forward twitch reflex platforming, and all while sacrificing his own well-being to save his damsel in distress.

Yes, I Can Hear You Now. Why didn't You Speak up Earlier?

HIGH Increased use of the game's psychological elements.

LOW The combat is infuriatingly cheap and unbalanced.

WTF The Signal's product placement for Verizon is unbelievably blunt.

Something Old, Something New

HIGH The first time I dominated an encounter after fully comprehending the battle system.

LOW Another last boss? Why can't this game just be over!

WTF Japanese developers really love their quasi-Christian bad guys.

Monkeying Around in a New Genre

HIGH Activating Monkey's "cloud" for the first time.

LOW The end of the game doesn't seem to match the beginning.

WTF Trip shows no remorse for killing innocents in the first level.

Who Cares? Sega Should

HIGH Transporting myself to a simpler, more poorly-rendered time and coming to the realization that Gunblade NY is actually pretty solid.

LOW Dozing off repeatedly during a run of L.A. Machineguns. For reference, the game is 30 minutes long.

WTF Wondering how to defeat all these robo-terrorists? Advise you slam 'em continuously!

Game Description: Two fast-paced and beloved arcade shooter games take you to the skies above some of America’s most well-known locales. Up to two players control achineguns on two flying battle vehicles to destroy an android terrorist invasion. First, combat android invaders in New York City with your Gunblade helicopter gunship. Then, climb aboard a futuristic hovering gunship to battle a new force of android enemies in Los Angeles and West Coast locales such as Alcatraz, Yosemite and Las Vegas. Wii Zapper compatible and a host of added Wii features like online leaderboards for worldwide ranking and Wii Remote vibration complete the experience.

Game Description: Put your foot soldiers, snipers, cavalry, and fighter pilots to the test in Toy Soldiers. Poised to be a smash hit on Xbox Live Arcade, Toy Soldiers is an action-packed strategy-based game in which players command antique WWI toy soldiers vying for control of the trench-filled battlefields of Europe. Deploy an exciting arsenal such as tanks, cavalry, biplanes, and flamethrowers in vintage WWI toy dioramas. Developed by Signal Studios exclusively for Xbox 360, Toy Soldiers allows you to take control of individual units or control the entire battlefield from a strategic view. Integrating multiple game genres and world-class visuals, Toy Soldiers is a unique and action-packed entertainment experience!

It's Hell Out There, Outside the Toybox

HIGH Manning a tank to take care of enemies my mortars can't reach.

LOW It can sometimes be difficult to tell where enemy units are.

WTF "Pope Thrower"?